MAKING THE MOST OF THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY
Christopher Ebbe, Ph.D. 1-25
For those Americans who feel trepidation, depression, or downright fear about the ascendency of Mr. Trump to the presidency for a second time, here are some palliative ideas. Such feelings are understandable given the many aggressive, controversial, and demeaning things that he has said throughout his campaigning and in his inaugural address, but if we look at his actual behavior in office, a somewhat different picture emerges. (The thoughts presented here are my own, from careful observation and from my years of experience as a mental health professional.) If you are a Trump supporter, you still may find this interesting, and you, too, can be a positive force to help Pres. Trump do the best possible job!
From Mary Trump’s book about him and my observations of his dynamics, Mr. Trump seems to have spent his entire life trying to be “enough” and doubting that he is “enough,” perhaps since his father expected a great deal of him (while giving almost no praise), and his mother was too weak to give him support against his father’s over-expectations. He strives above all for approval, and in order to protect his feelings of self-value, he has developed the strategy of rejecting responsibility for anything negative and attacking mercilessly anyone who criticizes him or tries to deprive him of his value. His thirst for recognition and praise are illustrated in his exaggerations of his abilities and accomplishments and in his absolute rejection of all criticism and all perceptions of him by others that do not support his greatness. Since in general he does not trust others, he strives to have power over them so he can control them. To him, other people are either supportive, or they are enemies to be vanquished in his quest for self-value. This quest is his obsession.
Since he (probably unconsciously) feels that he has little value, he cannot approach other people as an equal, and he has adopted another strategy for achieving things. He has the abilities of a consummate con artist, telling people what they want to hear with almost no regard for the truth or for the welfare of the people he is dealing with. The truth has little meaning for him, as he measures his success solely by accomplishment. He is not evil, Satan, or the embodiment of evil—simply a man with relatively weak self-esteem, tremendous anger about not feeling of much value, and a tremendous need to feel OK, plus a marked ability to appear strong, totally confident, and invincible to others. He is remarkably good at seeming sincere as he brings others into an alliance with him, but disagree with or cross him, and you will suffer.
For any who might feel offended by this description of Pres. Trump, bear in mind that there is plenty of evidence for my description in the myriad things that he has said and done publicly. I do not intend this to be critical—only to describe how the man actually is from the evidence. I do not myself feel particularly negatively toward the man himself but do disagree with some (not all) of his plans for the country.
The important implication of these dynamics is that in office he wishes to be seen as a great President, which involves great approbation and praise from citizens, so he cannot afford to alienate or outrage very many people, especially if they are in groups big enough that he cannot outright destroy them. Thus, he is not as harsh after winning as he seems beforehand. He does not carry out much of what he says in campaigning that he will do when in office, when he is tagged with the ultimate responsibility for the nation. He has a pattern of announcing something that he will do that may seem outrageous to some people and then waiting to sense the public response before he either goes ahead with it or changes course. This is why it is important for you to register your reactions to things at whitehouse.gov. While in office he will try to keep as many people as possible happy, and he is concerned about his legacy (meaning to him how historians will describe him and his work). Remember, take what he says seriously but not literally.
Regarding retribution for his “enemies,” I believe that one of the directives that he signed after his second inauguration speech of the day prohibits administrations from taking retribution, and this would include his own administration.
Regarding mass deportation, he talks as if he will round up everyone in the country who is here without adjudicated permission to be here, but now he is emphasizing only deporting those already convicted of crimes here or in their home
countries. If you disagree with the deportations, the thing to do is to let this play out (since we don’t know yet the extent of the deportations) but also to contact the White House (by letter or at whitehouse.gov) with your opinions as many times as you are motivated to. Don’t advocate open borders, because that is contrary to our current laws (in which case you should advocate for changing the law so that anyone that wants to can enter and live here, but think carefully about whether you really want this). If you advocate with him to have a bleeding heart or to break the law himself, he will be easily able to dismiss you, but if you give him a way to uphold the law and come out of this looking good, he will listen. (Like many in power, he wants you to bring him solutions, not problems.) Since many recent immigrants are here now through falsely claimed asylum, he will want to change the definition of asylum and to make those asylum decisions immediately at the border instead of scheduling asylum hearings far in the future.
Pres. Trump does not seem to care about morality and doesn’t care much about anyone’s rights, so urging him to be a good person and treat everyone better because they deserve it or because they have rights will not move him. He only cares about approval and appearing strong and invulnerable (which he certainly is not, as his responses to criticism plainly show).
His pardons of the January 6 disruptors at the Capitol—even those who were violent—will earn him a lot of negative reactions by all but the most MAGA of supporters, and it clearly will embolden those who seek to overthrow the government. Politically, it seems to me like a mistake. Perhaps he is getting this promise out of the way immediately so it will be forgotten in the welter of other changes coming daily.
I don’t believe that he will do much about gay or LGBQ+ people, as long as they don’t attack him, but he does want to restrict some transgender treatments to adults. He may try to minimize available public money for sex change operations, but remember that he probably has a majority of the country agreeing with him about that. He will probably be supportive of efforts to allow more religious expressions in public life, as our Supreme Court has been, but he will certainly not support the Christian nationalist notion that Christians should rule the country. (He would definitely not want God to challenge his authority!)
Pres. Trump wants to be seen as the “Great Disruptor,” but many of the things that he wishes to change will not be possible, since the Supreme Court is unlikely to budge on their notion of what the Constitution requires and since anything Congress has put into law (like establishing some of our Federal agencies) can be changed only by further actions by a divided Congress. Many Federal employees are protected by union rules, and he will have a tough time if he fires everyone who is employed there “at will” (many of the managers) since there will be no one left who knows how to do the technical work that makes the system function at all, let alone how he wants it to function.
HOW TO COPE
1. Prepare yourself for and accept that given the President’s style, we are going to be repeatedly surprised and astonished at his behavior in office. At least it will be interesting. Don’t bemoan his style; just give your attention to the substance of what he does. Be open to whatever positive value some of what he does will provide. Only if he openly flouts the law in a way that harms many Americans will enhanced resistance make sense.
2. Be as empathic and compassionate with Pres. Trump as you can. This might sound strange, but people who pray seriously report that when they pray consistently for the welfare of someone they dislike–they end up feeling more positively toward that person. It will help you to be able to manage your emotions better. Remember, he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword, and this applies to you, too.
3. Be willing to accept it if he does some good. An attitude to total resistance will be unproductive and will only make him meaner.
4. Treat Pres. Trump with the respect and courtesy due to any U.S. President. This will feel good to you, and if we all did that, it would push him to treat us the same way.
5. His insults may sting and seem amazingly unfair, but don’t take them personally. He doesn’t know you. Work on your sense of self-worth if the insults are truly intolerable for you. Do not threaten him or try to out-insult him; he will never stop, and you will eventually give up in defeat.
6. Acknowledge that Pres. Trump, like you and I, has his unique set of coping behaviors and his unique view of the world, based on his unique genetics and experience, and that to him, his view of the world makes sense. He has his reasons for his views and behavior, and we can cope better with him the better we understand his reasons.
7. Endure. It’s only for four years, and to really change complex systems takes lots of time. If Congress were to go Democratic in 2026, you might only have to endure for two years!
8. Write to Pres. Trump at the White House (1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Washington DC 20500). Communicate with him online (on whitehouse.gov you will be taken to a screen where you can use Windows Messenger to send him a message). Write frequently if you are so moved. Your letters may not be fully read, but I believe that letter-openers keep a running total of for’s and against’s on each topic.
9. Be helpful. Give him praise for what you like and give him good ideas regarding the things you don’t like.
10. Translate your dissatisfactions into positive action, by working with groups you support to continue doing their good works, working to educate voters about key issues, and working to get out the vote for 2026.
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